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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
The truth is more important than the facts.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
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Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
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We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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